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Post by Mick on Jul 2, 2008 1:04:13 GMT -5
All three were stuck to the sandy ground as a crowd of enraged hentai mermaids glared at them.
"What do we do Solka?!"
"I don't know? Abu?"
But Abu had long since hid in White's nostrils again.
"WHITE."
"I'M NOT GOOD IN A CRISIS." White cried.
"No, White, I have an idea, blockhead!"
"What is it? Quick D:" White said as the D cup mermaids inched closer quickly.
"DO A SEXY DANCE." She shouted.
"WOT." White said.
"Just do it!" Solka said and then took off.
Panicking, White's brain stopped functioning and he just plain got down and did a sexy dance.
The moment he started shaking his hips the feroucious mermaids started fangirling, glomping him dangerously like in a National Fooball Leage game.
"I don't have the ball!" White shouted for no reason as he got burried in a moutain of boobs and fish tails.
Seconds later, which seemed like centuries for White, Solka appeared riding a gigantic seahorse.
She quickly grabbed the only visible part of White: His dancing arm.
With a powerful leap, the seastalionhorse swam upwards and pulled White out of the mermaid mosh pit, much like a farmer pulls a potato out of the earth.
It was truly beautiful.
As White, still hazzy looked over to Solka, he thought he saw sparklies floating around her head but uppon shaking his head they disappeared.
As he regained conscience, he noticed the seahorse had transformed into a dragon and that they were now flying over clouds.
"Wtf" White said, for he had been dreaming about Gringots.
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Post by Solka on Jul 2, 2008 1:18:10 GMT -5
"Good morning, princess!" Solka said, looking back over her shoulder as the long, wingless, furry dragon flew across the sky.
"Uh what. Where are we? Where are we going? Are we there yet?" White asked, noticing that his skull wasn't a big mess anymore and that Abu was finally out of his nostrils and was currently sitting on the dragon's ass.
"We're going to the Never-Ending Story land!" She said, happily.
"Pbbrrrt, no, really."
"We are." She said, flat staring him.
"We're going to a place where time and everything never ends? How do we get out?"
"...We fly out. Why do you think we have this big furball under our asses?"
"Oh, right." He said, finally, looking around. Suddenly, his ears started to pop and bleed.
"High pressure." Solka giggled and handed him a few ear tampons, which she had already put in.
"Oh thanks."
A few hours afterwards, they arrived at a strange place with a big, black castle in the distance.
"Hey that looks like..." White started.
"Hogwarts." And Solka finished. "What the fuck, big furry dragon."
The big furry dragon looked at her and said "Sorry, I'm not good with directions..."
"Oh that's okay, just leave us here." Solka said. Abu had been asleep all the journey and his ears were no longer visible amidst the bloody mess.
The dragon obeyed Solka's wish and shook them off from high in the sky. "NO, MY BRAIN!" White screamed.
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Post by Mick on Jul 2, 2008 1:39:40 GMT -5
As White kneeled down the bloody eared monkey, Solka looked around to see exactly where they were.
"Lol, Hogwarts" she said.
"WHA?" Abu screamed, now aparently deaf as his ears had bled to Hell.
For some gay reason, White felt sympathy for the monkey for the first time in ages and put him on his shoulder again.
"So we're back in Hogwarts" White said, putting his hands on his hips and semi closing his eyes in a shounen manga pose, even though there was no Sun. For it had already been nightfall and the oblivious trio hadn't gotten used to it yet.
As the three walked further into Hogwarts' grounds, they saw the lake, where the giant squit was also doing a sexy dance.
White moaned subtly, the memories hurting his brain, but he had no time to baw as suddenly a shaddy figure appeared out of fucking nowhere.
"Holy Chocolate Starfish!" White said "We should hide."
"I agree." Solka said, still standing put.
"BATMAN" Abu said and it was like White and Solka had awakened from a deep trance.
They quickly found a hiding spot in Dumbledore's grave and jumped inside.
They watched as Severus Snape came into he moonlight, followed by a prettyful silver doe.
At the sight of the doe, Abu starry eye'd and went "Nee-saaaaan" suprisingly very quietly.
As Solka suddenly remembered her shattered Jesus shit, White found Dumbledore's wand stuck down the wizard's underwear.
He pulled it out and looked at it, saying "Lol."
Immediatly, a pink ray flashed out of the wand, hitting Snape in the back and making him fall on his face.
The trio once again wtf'd and jumped out of the grave to see what White's newly found spell had done.
As they inched closer they could all see that Snape was turning into Pedobear.
"Oshit." White said, grining manically eben though he didn't really know why.
In the background, Abu chased the Lilly-doe
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Post by Solka on Jul 2, 2008 1:46:51 GMT -5
"Oh crap now what?" Solka said, as she watched the professor slowly stand up, several inches smaller than her. "Uhhhhhhhh, don't make any sudden movements." White whispered. Suddenly, Lily-doe and Abu in the background stopped moving, as if they were statues. Everyone was watching SnapeBear intently, hoping he didn't come for them and their panties. Unfortunately for Solka and her history of horrible encounters with pedobears, her shirt was undone and her bra was no more, thanks to the shit incident. She looked down and realized this before saying "oh shit" and running like hell towards the castle's gates. "Come here young lady, I won't hurt you! I have candyyyy~~" PedoSnape said, running after her with his short, stubby, bear legs. Suddenly, Solka stopped in her tracks and wheeled around "CANDY?!" She yelled. "YES, CANDY" PedoSnape replied. Solka shrugged and said "meh, I'd rather have a bucket-full of Hägen Dazs Tiramisu ice cream." "That can be arranged." PedoSnape said, rubbing his sly bear hands. "Really?! " Solka said. In the background, behind Snape, Lily-doe and Abu had resumed running and White was waving frantically, trying to persuade Solka into not accepting the pedo's offer. "Yes, yes, now shall we go behind those bushes? There's a wonderful little assortment of ice creams there." He said, pointing towards the bushes and extending a hand so that Solka may take it. And she did. White face palmed and covered his eyes. Soon enough, he could hear Solka moaning loudly. He couldn't take it anymore. Whining, he ran towards the bushes and saw Solka covering herself in the ice cream PedoSnape had provided. "Maybe he likes fat girls..." White thought aloud. "Excuse me?!" Solka said, her mouth full from ice cream. "Ow ow ow brain freeze." "Uh nothing. I BELIEVE YOU PEDOSNAPE." "THANK YOU, CHILD."
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Post by Mick on Jul 2, 2008 6:08:00 GMT -5
White couldn't take the fact that Pedosnape hadn't come after him instead was about to rape his bff so in a very anime like fashion something inside him snapped and he realized it was his fate to defeat Pedosnape, even though he had always been his number one fan.
White slowly arose from his knees and walked closer to the bush, but blinded in anti CP rage he tripped over an odd shapped rock and passed out.
When he came to, he was no longer at Hogwarts.
"Hm." He said.
"You." A deep voice said behind him.
"Surprise buttsex?" White asked stupidly but he was smacked by a manly figure.
We looked up to this figure and his eyes widned, for he saw it was Hard Gay, his great great great great great great grandfather and he cried tears of joy.
His eyes also bled from Hard Gay's tan.
Suddenly, 8 other gays appeared, surrounding white and Hard Gay primo.
"You" said one of them "You are the Hard Gay tenth and must figh Pedobear our eternal enemy"
"I am wot. Says who?"
"We say so." said Hard Gay primo, throwing a purple dildo at White's head.
"This cannot be" said White
"Kira elected you to be so" one of the Hard Gays said. This Hard Gay was smaller than the others but surprisingly more gay.
"That bastard" White said swearing revenge.
Another Hard Gay pulled white to his feet and White jumped around, making it his point not to let the Hard Gays see his back or they might rape him.
"If I kill Pedosnape, can I go?" White whinned.
"Yes." said Hard Gay primo. "But you must take this to beat him"
Meanwhile, oblivious to White's unconscious-in-an-anime-trance, Solka kept eating delicious caek, ignoring Pedosnape's hard on.
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Post by Solka on Jul 2, 2008 11:55:55 GMT -5
Solka, hearing a sudden brush of leaves coming from the bushes to her side, sat up and tried to look over them but it was too late, for PedoSnape had already grabbed her and started to molest her.
"Omfg, get off me!" she yelled dramatically. Suddenly, White snapped out of his transe and got up, rubbing his head. He realized his bff was being overpowered and so he got a random stick and started to beat the bear to death.
"How could you choose her over me!? How?!" He yelled as he brutally murdered the poor professor. Solka gaped at his confessions of love, but had no time to stare because her shirt was being ripped off by the unconscious-but-still-going-at-it PedoSnape. White managed to beat him into jumping off of her, and so she took this opportunity to flee. She ran away and bumped into Abu who had started humping Lily-doe's leg. Lily-doe was staring blankly into the distance.
As Solka got up from bumping into the little monkey, she ran into the Lake and was quickly followed by the unconscious professor and White who had replaced his stick with a nailbat. Solka sexy danced away and suddenly sexy danced into the sexy dancing giant squid. She said Hi in a sexy way and sexy danced away.
As soon as PedoSnape and White walked into the Lake as well, they started to sexy dance after them. White sexily beat PedoSnape into oblivion while he, without his sexy eye and leg, sexy danced after Solka, wanting to grope more sexy boobies.
And so, as the sun set into the distance, all you saw was those three sexy people running after each other.
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