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Post by Solka on Jan 11, 2008 17:24:31 GMT -5
Solka sat in class, her black hair strung up in a ponytail. She rest her head on her right hand and tapped the table with her left fingers, occasionally peeking at the watch wrapped around the same wrist. She couldn't wait to go home and talk to her friends.
Five... Four... three, two, one.
The bell rang. She picked her bag up in a hurry (which had already been packed a few minutes before) and rammed the door open, almost knocking it off its hinges. She stopped and looked at the creaking door, laughed nervously at her classmates staring at her with a blank expression from within the classroom and ran down the stairs. Half-way down, she tripped and banged her forehead on the floor, getting up quickly with a loud "HOLY SHIT" and proceeding to run down the last flight of stairs.
She hopped into the car and five minutes later, she was home. Her finger almost flew to the computer's "on" button. She threw her backpack on her bed and sat in front of the black, shiny laptop, hopping up and down on her seat, groaning. "Come on, come on!"
When finally it started up, she opened the program she loved to use most. Windows Live Messenger. She quickly logged on but realized no one she considered to be worthwhile was online. Immediately, sad face hit her. Solka sighed and got off the bed, walking over to the window. She started drifting off and started daydreaming about odd things like golden toads and flying elephants.
Suddenly, a knock on her window slapped her out of her mental trance. It was White. Her jaw dropped and she slid her window open.
"What the fuck? How the hell did you manage to come up to the fifth fl--" Her question was almost instantly answered by the hoovering magic carpet resting under White.
"I stole it from Alladin, don't you know? Hop on." He grinned. "We need to stop at the gas station first though. It's almost out." White patted the carpet's behind and looked at it lovingly.
"Holy shit. And I thought today was going to be boring..."
Obviously, Solka was wrong.
Either that, or she was badly stoned.
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Post by Mick on Jul 1, 2008 21:31:49 GMT -5
Hoshittttt, I missed these boards. I might get some inspiration back too, yesssss.
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White opened his eyes slowly, groaning as he lifted himself off the floor. He saw a white haze for a few moments, small white unicorns prancing around in it before he shook his head.
He looked around to see a big cave like place, red floor and walls and seemingly no way out of it.
He what the fuck'd and tried to recall the last happenings in his small brain. The last thing he remembered was riding Aladin's magic carpet with Solka.
He then also remembered Abu jumping out of nowhere and covering his eyes sending them all in a crazy looping air ride.
"Oh shit... did I just fall all the way from the sky?" He scratched his head.
Or he tried.
When he noticed his head wasn't being scratched at all he took a look at his arm and was surprised to see the bone prodding out of his skin. He shook his arm and it wobbed around weirdly.
"Well that's interesting."
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Post by Solka on Jul 1, 2008 21:40:35 GMT -5
Oh ewww.
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As Solka elegantly landed from her flight as soon as she got thrown off, she walked up to White and returned to her anthro form.
She picked something up from the floor that seemed rather like a rock and threw it far inside the cave. As it hit something, there was a loud tlink. She shrugged the sound off and sat next to White as he examined his arm.
"Holy hell. What the the crap happened to you?" She poked at the bone.
Everything in her body screamed "steal the bone" but she tried to resist the urges. She picked another rock from the floor and played around with it, examining the arm, just like White was doing.
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Post by Mick on Jul 1, 2008 21:56:27 GMT -5
"Damned if I know" White replied, further pocking his arm to see if he felt anything "All I know is that if I find that monkey, I'll skin him and eat him."
"Ew, he probably has diseases, ew." Solka said
"Probably" White repeated.
They sat in silence for a while, the only sound being that of White's arm scracthing the floor, as it had now began to twitch by itself.
"Oh what the fuck." Solka said as she noticed this.
White stared at it blankly as it did a little dance. "Maybe I should cut it off."
"Did you hit your head too hard when you fell down?" Solka asked flatly.
"I don't know, is there a gash?" White bowed his head so his friend could check.
"No, but oh my God" Solka dragged out.
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Post by Solka on Jul 1, 2008 22:03:10 GMT -5
"There's.... I think...... Okay what does Abu look like?" Solka said.
"What?! Uhm, uhhh, brown? He has a hat?" White was starting to panic.
"Oh. Oh okay. Well, not to worry. You just have a red monkey with no hat chilling on your brains."
"Oh haha okay. Not to wo-- I WHAT?! TAKE IT OUT." White said, struggling with his one arm to grab something out, while his other arm breakdanced on the floor.
"Wait, wait. WAIT." Solka slapped White's hand back and rummaged around in her pants-pocket until she found some tweezers.
"Where'd the fuck that come from, lady?" White asked, his eyes widening at the instrument.
"Home." Solka smiled and poked around to find Abu's tail. As big as White's head was, apparently his brain was sunken back there.
"Oh, okay! Got it! Go-- Oh shit."
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Post by Mick on Jul 1, 2008 22:15:23 GMT -5
"WHAT, WHAT IS IT?"
"He's running away from the tweezers!" Solka tried to grab White's head so it'd stay in place.
"You mean he's digging into my BRAIN?" White screamed.
"Y-yes. OH SHIT, I THINK HE'S TRYING TO GET OUT BY YOUR NOSE."
"What the SHIT MAN." White frantically tried to reach for the monkey through his nose but failed.
While both of them tried to grab the hatless monkey, White's dancing arm suddenly shot up, its fingers curling in a dramatic pointing gesture.
As she noticed this, Solka looked up to where the arm was pointing and soon after White did as well and Abu too, staring from behind White's nostrils.
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Post by Solka on Jul 1, 2008 22:19:36 GMT -5
"It's on signore, go!" Abu said.
"Oh shut up monkey." Solka and White both said while still staring at where White's dancing arm was pointing. Soon after, Abu exited White's brain and came back minutes later with a few wooden planks, a hammer and nails.
"What the fuck you doin'?" Solka asked.
"Building a house and a pool." Abu replied normally.
"Oh yeah, of course. Obviously." Solka ignored Abu and kept staring at wherever it was the arm showed the way to. "Maybe we should just get up and follow your arm like a compass?"
"It ain't a compass, damnit." White stood up nonetheless, the tweezers falling in his brain and coming out through his nose as if it had just gone down a water slide.
"Oh good idea!" Abu said, watching the spectacle.
Solka picked the tweezers up, cleaned them and started walking with White, staring at his arm while its fingers wriggled around like they were playing an invisible piano. Soon after they arrived in a new and strange place.
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Post by Mick on Jul 1, 2008 22:34:02 GMT -5
Characters in this thread: White Solka Apu White's Dance Academy Award Winning arm.
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As they walked around the newly found room White scratcedh his open brain.
"Ew, monkey hair" he pouted.
"It's not my fault it's shedding season" Abu replied, and White noticed he had a weird brittish accent now. He was intriged by this but said nothing as he watched his wonderous arm playing Beetoven's Ninth.
This room contained a waterfall and it was tainted blue, unlike the previous red room.
The three companions walked closer to the waterfall, admiring its homosexual beauty. White was still pissed at Abu for playing around in is brain but he said nothing as he tried to plot against the primate.
Suddenly, Solka was pulled into the water, but not before screaming "OHMYGOD, WHATTHEFUCK."
White reacted at the speed of lightning, and picked up Abu by his tail, vicously beating whatever it was that was pulling Solka with him.
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Post by Solka on Jul 1, 2008 22:41:54 GMT -5
"RAEP!! RAEP!!!" Solka screamed, water running into her mouth.
Abu started to scream for help when White beat the octopus that emerged into oblivion. Unfortunately, White was grabbed by his legs and Abu by his tail. White was careful enough to close his cranium shut with whatever was available, otherwise his brain would've flown across the room and hit the wall in a big, bloody, brainy mess.
Suddenly, White's dancing arm came into action, replacing the screaming Abu. It tapdanced on the octopus's head, hitting his eyes. HEEELP, TENTACLE RAAAEEEP could be heard across the room in an echo of Solka-ry screaming.
With the pain of having several slaps and fingers on his face, the octopus dragged all of them underwater. They choked before realizing they could actually breathe underwater. They looked at each other and wtf'd before kicking the octopus in its jaw and being let loose. The three of them swam away, White grabbing Abu by his tail so he wouldn't get away.
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Post by Mick on Jul 1, 2008 22:55:59 GMT -5
They quickly swam away from the giant octopus and were surprised to see the bottom of the waterfall was nowhere to be seen. As they passed by a long seaweed, White caught it and proceeded to wrap it around his broken skull to better secure it. As he wrapped it around his head much like a mummy, Solka talked to herself out loud absent mindedly. "That felt kind of nice... I don't know why all the bishies complain about tentacle raep." She said with a rather " "-y face. "Wot." White exclaimed looking at her bewildered. He now had a bow made out of seawead wraped on the top of his head giving him a very Minnie Mouse and ridiculous look. Solka had no time to reply as a very hentai like mermaid jumped in their way, flashing her lady humps at them. White and Solka both stared blankly, both their brains clearly broken; while Apu flinged himself to the creature, screaming "ONEE-SAAAAAAAN"
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Post by Solka on Jul 1, 2008 23:02:14 GMT -5
"Jesus's Holy Shit!" Solka said, swimming in the direction of a boulder which had a glowing piece of shit on top.
"Wot." White said, still looking at the mermaid.
Abu swam into the blessed valleys that were the mermaid's bosom. "Oh blessed underwater world." He said.
White swam over to him and grabbed his tail before being grabbed himself by the mermaid and being seriously groped. "What the fuck lady." He said, trying not to say anything too sexual.
"Ooh, are you a present?" The mermaid asked, grabbing the ends of the seaweed bow.
"No!" White said, grabbing his bow like a prized treasure. Suddenly, the mermaid got angry and, enraged, spat up a bit of what looked like some kind of pokémon what the hell move.
White swam away rapidly, grabbing Abu and Solka, who was mesmerized by the glowing shit.
"WAIT WAIT." She said and grabbed it. "Souvenir." she told a very wth White.
They swam for what seemed like hours until they came to what seemed like a mansion. They knocked and waited for someone to come, but the door swung open in a flurry of bubbles. They walked swam inside and the door closed behind them, in another flurry of bubbles.
Solka laughed "it looks like the door farted".
"Yeah, yeah, let's go." White said, planting himself, not moving.
"You're quite still for someone who wants to go." Abu said.
"Eww." Solka said, wincing and clasping her piece of shit.
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Post by Mick on Jul 1, 2008 23:54:09 GMT -5
White very slowly gazed at his own feet, afraid of what the other two might had seen latched onto his feet.
Much to his surprise, the Hentai Mermaid was grinding up and down his right leg, or she tried, as much as her pink fish tail allowed her.
"Your leg is so hot present booooyyyy" she said.
":V" White said, and his arm instinctivly tapdanced on the mermaid's eyes to protect its owner.
In reaction, the mermaid started singing "Give me More" by Britney Spears grinding harder with the chorus.
Suddeny, a door on the first floor of the mansion oppened, again spraying them with fart-like bubbles. Once the bubbles settled down, a hammer head shark could be seen leaning over the stairs.
"Welcome to my mansionne" he said in a mediterranium accent.
Everybody wtf'd but the feeling was short lived as the mermaid screamed:
"You stopped my raging hot orgasm on present boy's leg!"
"Stfu ho" the shark said, throwing a clam at the mermaid's head. She floated up the ceiling much like a dead fish.
Abu cried tears of sadness as she "thump"d against the seiling repeatedly.
White snapped out of his trance and kneeled on the floor wailing: "THANK YOU SIGNORE. My life is yours, I shall forver serve you!"
Meanwhile, with ninja skills, Solka had positioned herself in front of the hammer head shark and poked him between the far apart eyes.
"Lol, do you have a blind spot here?"
"Qué." The shark said, before thedoor behind him farted open again.
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Post by Solka on Jul 2, 2008 0:03:59 GMT -5
Solka repeated, "I asked, do you have a bl--" but out of the farting door stepped the most beautiful man she had ever seen. She stared, wagging her floating tail.
White yelled up at her, "Yo, you alive?!"
"I think... I just stared into the sun!" She replied. White facepalm'd and took Abu, setting him up on his shoulder and stepped up the stairs.
The man said, "welcome to my mansionne".
The shark turned around, tilting his head so one eye could see the man, "yo, cheese, that's my line! AND I ALREADY SAID IT."
"Yo, cheese, that's my line! AND I ALREADY SAID IT." Cheese said.
"Is he broken?" Solka asked, still staring, stroking her piece of shit like an aristocrat would pet his animal.
"Is he broken?" Cheese repeated again.
They all looked at him with a very "õ__o;;;" expression on their faces. Abu made a series of weird poses, seeing if Cheese would do them as well. And well, he did.
After a few minutes of Abu's amusement, they all passed through another farting door and came upon a lounging room. The shark invited them to sit down and introduced himself as being called Giovanni.
Solka giggled and White winced. Abu didn't understand it. Awkwardly enough, in the lounging room, there was a fireplace which was actually lit with dancing, blue farting flames. Giovanni told Cheese to go back and take care of Hentai The Mermaid, because she would soon pollute his entrance with mermaid dead things.
After a few hours of talking, and Solka's giggling, they all were invited to a different room. When Solka and White entered, they stared in amazement and a bit of disgust at the contents inside.
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Post by Mick on Jul 2, 2008 0:32:58 GMT -5
As they all completely entered the room, they realized how far in danger they actually were.
Giovanni closed the door behind him, grining proudly at the sight before them.
As White, Solka and Abu all gawked, opening and closing their mouths much like fish out of water, an overweight female hammer head shark fuck that's a long description sat on a rocking chair.
As the chair rocked all three could not unsee that she was topless, her huge furry shark-like tits at full show.
Solka was beggining to wonder if all women in the Blessed Underwater world were topless and if she too, should remove her T-shirt and bra.
This presented a chalenge though, as she was keeping her Jesus piece of shit tucked between her boobs and her bra.
It was a safe place, she had decided.
Even so, their shock had no end, so they soon realized that attached to the nipples of the shark woman there were two shark cubs sucking on their mother's milk.
This was too much too bear.
Solka felt the sudden urge to headdesk but there were no desks around so she foamed at the mouth and passed out at the grotesque sight.
White, not less incomdated excused himself and Abu out of the room with "I have this warm vomit-y feeling in my stomach so I'll be right back" and ran off, leaving Solka twitching on the floor.
As he ran across the Hall he could see the main entrance where the hentai mermaid had been struck with a vongola.
"What in Bloody Hell" Abu exclaimed, looking at the thumping body of the mermaid.
Yes, it was still thumping agaisnt the ceiling, White observed but where was Cheese?
His answer came soon enough as a second body could be seen thumping against the ceiling. It was cheese, the brainless.
White face palmed.
After a while, he noticed his prodigy arm wasn't dancing anymore and got concerned.
He decided that along with his primate companion he should rescue his bff. Nevermind that he had left her in the hellish room himself. That wasn't important at all.
As he and Abu stood outside the same room's door he asked:
"Are you ready?"
Abu nodded manly and said:
"I was born ready. I shall avenge the Mermaid maiden in this very moment."
In a flashy manner, hite kicked the door open and, realizing he had no guns whatsoever, grabbed Abu by the tail again, spinning him above his head in a Bruce Lee way.
His eyes widened at the sight and he let go of Abu in mid air, sending flying across the room.
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Post by Solka on Jul 2, 2008 0:41:50 GMT -5
Abu slammed up against the wall.
Solka was being sandwiched between Giovanni and the Shark-Woman with her two babies. As the two sharks tried to squeeze wolf juice out of her, Solka moaned, enough to keep White interested in all of it. Suddenly, though, he realized they were sort of related and face palmed again, leaving his forehead red and making his brain shake around like maracas.
"PLAY THAT AGAIN!" Solka said. White face palmed again, and his brain rattled once more. Solka giggled but moaned again.
"Hey, leave her alone!" White picked three vongolas up and threw them at Giovanni, making him float up to the ceiling like the mermaid. Abu looked at the sight and cried tears again, only to realize he had no boobs, so he frowned and returned to trying to unstick himself off the wall.
The shark-woman cried honest tears, seeing as she no longer had the second ingredient to making beautiful wolf pies for her babies.
Solka unstuck herself from the mass of fish and noticed she had squished the babies into a gooey mess of the Floating Dead. The shark-woman wept, making the sea water level rise a few good twenty feet.
Solka swam around, trying to think of what to do, and suddenly her piece of shit fell on the ground and broke into a thousand little shits. She paused and stared at the pieces. White could swear he had heard something else inside Solka's chest break.
"Don't worry, it's just my bra strap." She said. White took Abu by the tail once more and Solka by the wrist, who was crying and rising the sea water level along with the shark woman what the fuck that was long, and left.
As they walked out the mansionne's big door, they stared at a flock of angry mermaids.
"Oshit holy fish." The three said.
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